The Four Biggies
…for Dads/Partners at Birth
Most fathers/partners are strangers to the
birth environment. Additionally, they
typically have had little if any
opportunity to prepare for it. In my
opinion, this is society’s responsibility
and we all need to raise our game in the
support of new families during this
crucial time of family foundation building
and bonding.
Towards that end, I have four ‘topics of
awareness’ that dads/partners would do
well to have support on in order to make a
more useful contribution during the
mother’s labour and their child’s birth.
1. PAIN:
Men typically know pain as it relates to
injury, football, falling off a bike,
hitting their thumb with a hammer etc.
With this as their point of reference, or
default setting, for pain if the one they
love is experiencing pain during labour
they can, knowingly or unknowingly, revert
to their ‘known experience’ and assume
that injury or damage is being done to
her. They need to be informed, perhaps
even convinced, that if there is pain
during labour it is safe, intermittent,
cyclical and also creative. They also need
to know it is not their role to try and do
something about it i.e., fix it. In
addition, it is possible to transmute
‘pain’ and transform it into pure
energy…rather than something that hurts.
The word YES is key.
2.
TIME:
How much time will the birth take? How
long is a piece of string? Birth takes as
long as it takes. Fathers need to know
this and to relax around the time thing
and to be present with her and in each
moment with her. This knowing and attitude
from him will support her to relax more
easily and be in the zone with her labour.
All in good time.
2
more to follow... come back soon
Science and the Roots of Love
By Laura Uplinger
and Suzanne Arms
What Prenatal and Perinatal
Psychology Shows Us
Cell
biology, brain science and child development studies confirm the
findings of transpersonal psychology and sacred teachings of long ago:
What we experience at the very beginning of life deeply shapes our
health, the way we live, and our life choices. Many problems and chronic
conditions we face as teens or adults can, in fact, be traced to faulty
patterns in our brain and nervous system, including a distorted sense of
self and an inability to trust the world around us. These patterns are
physiological and rooted in the experiences we had at conception, during
womb life, in birth, and in those first crucial hours afterward.
Our first “home”
is the womb, when our mother’s body and psyche are our world. We bathe
in the sea of her thoughts, emotions and perceptions. Our
umbilical cord tethers us to the mother ship, and we receive the
biochemical translation of her consciousness. Not only do we
develop from her nutrients and love hormones but also the toxins she
takes in, all via that pulsing channel. These are the components from
which we compose our tissues and organs, especially our brain.
After birth the
face, voice and body language of our mother constitute the mirror in
which we see ourself and the window to the world around us. Therefore,
how our mother experiences life, how she is treated – with joy and honor
or neglect and abuse – profoundly influence how we grow up to treat
ourselves, everyone, and everything we encounter.
…From immune
system disorders to terrorism, from committing suicide to devising
weapons, from child abuse to corruption, and from alcoholism to trashing
our planet, we are dealing with an impaired capacity for loving oneself
and others…
…For the first
time in known history we can collectively address the premise that
both peace and war begin in the womb. Our consciousness does not end
at the boundaries of our flesh. It lies in, around and beyond our
developing brain. Deep inside, we forever hold the memory of our birth,
our in-womb life, and even conception.
Nature has endowed
women with the monumental task of birthing cultures as well as human
beings. More than ever, we know how important it is for society to
embrace and empower pregnant mothers, offer them beauty and harmony, so
that they are inspired in their endeavor to weave a luminous, caring web
of life for their babies, the future citizens of earth.
The fairest
thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is a fundamental emotion
which stands at the cradle of true art and science. He who knows it not
and can no longer wonder, no longer feel amazement, is as good as dead,
a snuffed-out candle. Albert Einstein
F2B
NEWSLETTERS
Father's Day 2010
Fathers' Day 2009
Mothers' Day 2009
Autumn 2008
Summer 2008
Spring 2008
One Baby
Two Parents
A Campaign for
Everyone
While no one was looking the very
foundations of our society, our culture and our families have undergone
a metamorphosis. Until several decades ago the activities surrounding
pregnancy, birth and early infancy were left almost entirely to a mother
and/or her healthcare providers.......(link
above)
info@fatherstobe.org
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